Trumped!

Okay, I was caught off guard by the Trump landslide. I'm less surprised by the Republicans keeping the House and Senate but I didn't see Trump astriding the Republican colossus. The real eye-opening part of watching last night's return: I kinda knew this but, man, I didn't realize how badly America hates Hillary Clinton. I knew she had her detractors, she had her doubters and she was an uncommonly dull candidate for a Democrat but I thought there was enough skepticism of Trump and enough of a left-wing groundswell to keep Hillary around for four more years. Nope. She is officially done as a public persona in America. And Donald Trump's career just took an unexpected setback. Trump is about to realize what I have long known: President of the United States of America is the ultimate dead end job. He could've been out making big money being a loud mouth political type, instead he's stuck actually governing. What a drag for that guy.

As I wrote in a previous post, the Congress runs the government while the President gets all the attention. We may think we just witnessed a revolution of the right wing weirdos but I would suggest the opportunity has swung back for the Republican establishment to treat Trump like a pinata for the next four years and purge the party of the loons. We'll see. To that end, I think the real winner last night was Paul Ryan: he has the job of herding cats (stupid ass Republican cats, no less) but if he can build a coalition within the House and a bridge to McConnell in the Senate, he can pretty well do whatever he wants for the next 2-4 years. I have a bold suggestion for each of the Republican leaders: McConnell should immediately affirm Merrick Garland (I kinda like him and I think he could bring a fascinating shift to the Court) and Ryan should immediately push through whatever immigration bill (*) he thinks he wants. I think its important for both houses of Congress to give an early thumb to the eye of the new President (that they don't actually like) by removing the only two things he might genuinely have an interest in. Encourage President Trump to reform NATO (yeah, go solve that Europe problem, Don, we'll take care of everything til you get back) and pick up where Michelle Obama left that obesity epidemic.

Since I'm hanging on the notion that last night was about vanquishing Hillary more than welcoming Trump, I am still skeptical of Trump's popularity. Who likes this guy? The guy just got 100 million votes and I still can't figure out who actually wants this man to be president--including the man himself! The idea that Trump is gonna clean up Washington is just straight foolish. He has no idea how to accomplish that task and who the fuck is gonna help him figure it out? Under Obama the Republican Congress just laid low but under Trump they'll have a mandate to do what they want with an Executive to rubber stamp their desires and offer little resistance. Trump didn't get rich by being a consensus builder and in DC he'll be so out of his element, he'll just yap and yap and do nothing at all. I think Ryan and McConnell will effectively control him behind the scenes and sponge off his popularity enough to look like real statesmen. Ideally, after four years Trump will be tired of being president and the Republican establishment will be back in control (look for Cruz to get marginalized and Rand Paul better do something bold or he'll be long gone by 2020), ready to take a real run at the White House (how about a Ryan/Rubio ticket in 2020?). Meanwhile the Democrats will have a few years of loudly suffering to develop some kind of hero by 2020 (sorry, kids, I don't think Elizabeth Warren is that guy and who drank more sad gulps of Chivas last night than Joe Biden?).

I'm not a political guy but I found myself more amused than I thought I would be by watching the liberals flounder and look all aggrieved. When they're in control their self-important smugness is unbearable, their moral pseudo-superiority is maddening and the way the fall prey to their own malformed observations is embarrassing. And, of course, political losers always portray the victors as...(fill in generational pejorative)...and themselves as kindly victims wondering why God lets bad things happen to good people. Conservatives are uptight assholes no matter what happens and George W. Bush was so tired of being president that I didn't get the same joy of watching the Obama revolution sweep out the last of red hot Cheneys.    

Is Trump dangerous? Good lord, I think he'll be the most ineffective President since Carter--and I just thought that about the last guy! I see no scenario where Donald Trump wants to be re-elected in 2020. He'll enjoy the inauguration (legendary for executive blow jobs!) but by Day Two, he'll be ready to pull the ejector seat and get back to where he once belonged. Foreign policy-wise I think he could have some minor successes but they'll be the kind that disappoint his most ardent supporters. In short, Tuesday night was his absolute peak in this business, nothing but a black diamond slope in his future. And this Presidency will soak up what influence he might've had, as opposed to Obama who will be a beloved public figure for the next 30 years, Trump will be shown to be ineffective and useless and defeated. Coke-fueled benders in the White House are probably a total drag, no fun at all, and tweeting about fat chicks at 3 in the morning will eventually get him murdered by his bodyguards. Seriously, I'm kinda feeling sorry for the guy, his life is ruined! He thinks his parents are on vacation and he's got the whole house to himself but, no, he's gotta run the family business 24 hours a day instead. This ain't doggie heaven, it's doggie hell.

Mitch McConnell is old, his job is to groom the next old white guy to dominate the Republican side of the Senate. But Paul Ryan could be the one, he's the ascendant star right now. And if he pulls the House Republicans together, he'll rule Washington for the next few years while the Democrats point all their weapons at hapless Trump.


(* Immigration is the ultimate pointless American debate: every 20 years or so since 1650 the locals have complained about interlopers and the local constabulary hems and haws and pretends to do something about it and the never does because deep down they kinda like the newcomers and are powerless to stop them anyway. Immigration is a function of economics not politics but political animals think nothing is beyond their entreaties. When the economy dried up in 2007 so did immigration to America, the rednecks didn't notice but the chances of them getting served by the political sphere is just as remote under Trump as it was under Obama. He'll give them a voice but will he give them actual power? Oh, come on, man! Remember Trump wasn't elected by rich white people, he was elected by poor white people--and even then it was only because the minorities where wary of Hillary)